Why It's Important To Move At Your Own Pace
Thoughts on quitting the 2024 reading challenge
✨ This post was originally published under The Thought Spiral. Same voice, new name. Welcome to Follow Through!
💭 Thursday Thoughts
Ask anyone who knows me, and they’ll tell you about how I was a book worm as a kid. I carried a book with me everywhere I went. I was shy, and having a book to escape to was my security blanket. Unfortunately, throughout high school and college I didn’t have a lot of time to read for fun beyond the required reading for my classes, and I really fell out of the habit. I wanted to read, but I just couldn’t find the time!
In 2019, my then girlfriend (now wife) and I both made a New Year’s resolution to read more for fun. To support each other, we decided to take turns picking a book each month to read together. We’d been dating less than a year, and it was a great way to get to know each other better and learn more about each other’s interests—all while helping each other live more in alignment with our values.
And yes, one of our shared values is a really good hardcover book, ideally with pretty sprayed edges. What about it?
I read *maybe* 15 books that year, and I was ECSTATIC. The following two years, I continued to read for fun. I got a Kindle to read in bed each night—a really wonderful habit to replace scrolling on my phone before bed. I joined a book club and made some wonderful friends, and I continued to average right around 20 books a year.
Then I decided to join Goodreads. It was really exciting to see what my friends were reading, but I noticed I was suddenly feeling insecure. Why were all my friends finishing books in one or two days that took me weeks to finish? Who were all these people finishing 10+ books in a month? How did they do it?
In 2022, I set a goal to read 50 books, and I did it! I was really proud of myself! I read so many interesting books and most importantly, I had a lot of FUN. I did it again in 2023.
This year I set my Goodreads goal to 50 without even thinking about it. I did it the last two years, so that’s just normal for me now, right? But this year I also have other goals on my mind. I’ve been getting back into running and working on finally writing a novel.
My slow-reader insecurity has been kicking back in as I watch myself fall behind on my goal as some of my friends have already surpassed 50, 70, even 100 books for the year. Each time I log into Goodreads, my 2024 Reading Challenge mocks me with “You’re 20 books behind schedule.”
But then I remind myself I’m doing so many other things this year! I did a 5K in July (walked a decent amount of it, but still! It counts!), I’m writing a novel, I started this Newsletter, I learned how to embroider, I helped a dear friend move into a new home, and I’m about to start volunteering with my church’s solidarity group.
All this to say, I think it’s very important to take a step back sometimes and think about the WHY behind your goals. Are you setting them on autopilot? Are they realistic? Are they aligned with your values?
I realized I don’t want to be reading books just to reach a certain number by the end of the year anymore. I want to read books because they encourage lively discussions with my book club friends. I want to read books because they’re helping me develop my writing craft. I want to savor each story I read instead of rushing through them just to add them to my little trophy collection on the internet.
So, I’m throwing out my 50 book reading goal. As of today, I set it to 25, which feels much more manageable to me. And, according to Goodreads, I’m right on track to finish by the end of the year. Some may say I gave up, but I know that my life is fuller because of it.
Maybe not everyone will relate to this story, but hopefully if you have your own unrealistic standards, this will help you see them in a new light.
It’s okay to lower the bar if the bar feels like it’s on the ceiling.
It’s okay to have more than one hobby.
It’s okay to move at your own pace.
Novel Writing Updates:
In the spirit of setting more REALISTIC expectations for ourselves, I want to quickly talk about a plan I’ve created that has been life-changing. I want to write a book, and I really want to have it done by next spring, but I’ve been having trouble getting words onto the page.
Recently, I created three rules for myself.
Each day, I have to write at least 100 words.
If something comes up and I can’t write, that’s okay. But NEVER skip more than two days in a row.
Absolutely NO EDITING. If I decide to change the POV, tense, etc., that’s okay. I can fix it during the editing phase. Right now, I have to focus on getting words on the page. Being a perfectionist WILL NOT HELP.
For reference, this next section is 118 words:
I force a smile to my lips and say, “I don’t think so!” in a sing-song voice. “But no more talk about that!” I bring the shot glass to my mouth and toss it back. The tequila burns the back of my throat and I take a sip of my vodka Red Bull to wash it down with a small grimace.
Andrew follows suit and pulls me out to the dance floor. The bass is heavy on a remix of one of my favorite songs, and I feel it down to my bones.
Tomorrow, I will handle this. Tomorrow, I will figure something out, I promise to myself. Then, I let the alcohol and the music take over.
Is it revolutionary? No. Is it well written? Eh, that’s what the editing phase is for. Is it 118 words that I didn’t have before? Hell yeah it is!!
As of writing this post, my manuscript is sitting at a healthy 3,124 words, which is proof that my little goal of 100 words a day is working. Technically, I’ve only been writing for 2 weeks, so my word count minimum is 1,400 words. 3,124 is more than twice that much.
You see, a funny thing happens in our brains when we set really simple goals for ourselves. By removing the fear of not reaching the goal, we’ve also eliminated a lot of resistance to the task at hand. That’s brain science, baby! 100 words doesn’t sound too hard, right? That could be written in around 10 minutes or less, even on a bad day. So I set a timer for 10 minutes, and I inevitably hit 100 words. But I realize I still have more to say, so I write another 100 words. And another.
And sure, some days I only write 100 words. But that is still progress! And progress has to be more important than perfection at this stage in the process.
Other accomplishments in writing world this week:
I have a working title that I like!! — The Alchemy
I did A LOT of character backstory work for my two main characters, Fallon and Blair, and I had a few MAJOR break throughs on plot holes. Special shout out to my wife for being there to talk through all of this with me and for letting me bounce ideas off her.
I have a vague outline of my plot and a few ideas for how I want to structure it
I started *official* Threads and Instagram accounts to network with readers and writers. This has been so fun, and I’ve gotten so much amazing advice from other authors just in the past few days!
Finished week 1 of The Advanced Class at The Novelry (The Advanced Class is the first of four phases in the writing course I’m taking.)
This Week’s Little Bits of Joy:
Wauwatosa, WI - This week we visited Milwaukee, and we took a quick drive through the most adorable suburb. There were so many beautiful, unique, historic houses, and a lot of cute shops including a coffee shop called Rocket Baby Bakery (like seriously?? how cute is that!). To top it off, the downtown streets were canopied in zig-zagging string lights to give it the ultimate cozy vibes.
Zebra Midliners - The colors are so pleasing, and I really appreciate that I can highlight in my books without the ink bleeding through the page.
The easiest chicken tortilla soup recipe - Pro tip: use a rotisserie chicken instead of canned and add green chiles for a little extra flavor. This has been one of my go-tos in the fall since college, and it’s so tasty!
Goat cheese - Nothing revolutionary here, it’s just so good! Put it on pizza, in a salad, or just on bread with a little bit of honey and some grapes on the side for a yummy snack!
Linda Holmes announced a new book coming in Feb 2025!
Charles L from The Golden Bachelorette - Seriously this man is a national treasure! I love him so much! I really hope he finds happiness despite being sent home last week.
Car chats - I feel like some of the best talks I’ve had have been while sitting in the car after driving a friend home. I had one this week with my friend Caitlin, and it was so nice!
This study room at Marquette’s law school campus:
🎨 Mood Board
love the setting realistic and value aligned goals! i’m so proud of you!!