Thoughts on Being "Cringe"
And why it's not actually such a bad thing
✨ This post was originally published under The Thought Spiral. Same voice, new name. Welcome to Follow Through!
💭 Thursday Thoughts
Having a weekly newsletter and working on being the most authentic version of myself both in my writing and in my life is EXHAUSTING. It’s so rewarding, and I love sharing these parts of my life, but I’d be lying if I didn’t overthink EVERYTHING. Every detail of what I write and every image I choose to share has come with so much thought, and there’s a nagging voice in the back of my mind that keeps saying, “Who cares?”
Recently while listening to this episode of the Internet People podcast, I came across the term “cringe mountain”. This term is a reference to the fear of embarrassing yourself by being seen trying hard to do something. The thought is that if people see you TRYING to succeed BEFORE you actually have a large audience and big brand sponsorships, they’ll judge you—they’ll cringe.
But the hope is that one day, you will succeed and it will be worth it. You’ll have reached your dream, and you’ll have gone from being “cringe” to being “successful”. And you can only get there by climbing cringe mountain.
Sometimes I look at my follower count, and I immediately fall into comparison mode. I look at my favorite creators who have THOUSANDS of subscribers and followers, and I think, “Why should I even try?” It’s easy to feel silly sharing my deepest thoughts, knowing barely anyone is reading them. Knowing that there very well might be people looking at what I’m doing and laughing at me.
We live in an age where it can feel embarrassing to CARE about things simply because they’re important to you. If you don’t have publishing houses knocking down your door for a book deal or brands reaching out to sponsor your posts and reels, why even try?
But the whole point is this: NO ONE got to that point without trying. Not a single successful influencer or creator got to where they are today without making a few cringey posts along the way. Every author writes a first draft. Every YouTuber creates a first video that they look back at and go “yikes.” It’s NORMAL to not be perfect at something the first time around.
And it’s actually really damn brave to show up every day knowing that your work isn’t quite perfect yet. Because that’s you climbing cringe mountain! And one day, you’ll reach the peak, and you’ll get that book deal or that brand sponsorship or whatever it is that you’re dreaming of, and it WILL be worth it.
Those same people that were cringing will suddenly be asking how you did it. And in response you can say, “I learned to value my work more than other people’s opinions of me.” Or maybe something less cheesy, but you get the idea.
Novel Writing Updates:
I’m struggling a little with my novel this week. I think this is the point in a story where I usually lose steam and end up giving up on my idea. I’ve hit at least 5 plot holes this week, and I’m really struggling to remain motivated to overcome them.
I’m really lucky to have the support of my wife and my best friend throughout this because I already outlined the story for them, and they want to read it. At very least, I want to finish the story for them. (Obviously getting published afterwards would be a HUGE bonus!)
I think I’m stuck on not knowing what genre I want this story to be. Up until now, I’ve been insisting to myself that it’s a paranormal romance, but the story is pulling me more and more toward full-fledged fantasy. I think I’ve been resisting it because I honestly haven’t read as much adult fantasy beyond ACOTAR and Fourth Wing, but maybe this is my sign to explore the genre more.
While doing some story planning this week, I came across this nugget of advice:
[A]t this stage in the game, the sudden proliferation of random plot points threatens to morph into a runaway plot, barreling toward an external Major Dramatic Climax, dragging our protagonists along for the ride. Rather than driving the action, [the protagonists] then become slaves to it.
— Lisa Cron, Story Genius
I fear I may have a “runaway plot” on my hands, and I’m taking some time this week to focus on character development to make sure that the plot makes sense for the story I want to tell.
It can be really frustrating to hit this point where instead of coasting on momentum, I have to put my foot on the breaks and check that everything is working, but I know it will be worthwhile. I’d hate to hit 50,000 words only to look back and realize the story has gone completely off the rails and needs to be scrapped entirely. Hopefully taking a quick break to reassess now will help me avoid that point.
Other accomplishments in writing world this week:
Continued thinking about world building for the story
Did a lot of character work on Blair, including reworking some of her backstory
Started reading Story Genius by Lisa Cron for writing inspiration and help with character and story development
Finished Week 3 of The Advanced Class at The Novelry
Hit 7,000 words!
This Week’s Little Bits of Joy:
This child decided to dress up as “Noah Kahan at Fenway” for Halloween and Noah’s reaction was so sweet!
Arizona Iced Teas still being 99 cents — the CEO insists that 99 cents remain the suggested retail price despite inflation. His reasoning is he’s successful and debt free, so there’s no point in having people who are already struggling to pay rent pay MORE money for his company’s drink. He sees it as a little way he can give back. I just find that really wholesome.
Two of my best friends got ENGAGED this weekend!! It was such a wonderful experience to be there to celebrate with them, and I’m so happy and excited for them and their future together!
Fondue - An entire meal based around dipping things in cheese and chocolate? Yum!
The writing community on Instagram is so supportive! I’m so grateful to have found such a wonderful place to document my creative process and make friends that are working on their first novels, too!
🎨 Mood Board
That’s all for now! Thank you so much for reading. Can’t wait to yap again next Thursday 💙
Missed my last post? Check it out here! 👇🏻
I love this. I think the idea of being cringy or awkward needs to be made less relevant. De-valuing away from those labels has been so freeing for me. I look back at my oldest videos and pictures and I feel a sense of fondness, because younger me DID climb up that cringe mountain because that's what I wanted to do. How badass, to be our most authentic selves.