Learning how to embrace all aspects of myself

Thoughts on the comparison trap, headlamps, and why we all need to stop "niching down"

✨ This post was originally published under The Thought Spiral. Same voice, new name. Welcome to Follow Through!

💭 Thursday Thoughts

Last week, I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Internet People, and one of the hosts brought up her struggles with personal branding and finding a “niche” online. She said something that completely shifted my perspective: instead of starting by picking a niche, start by deciding how YOU want to show up online and WHO you want to create content for.

She explained that one of her target audiences is creative people—either avid readers or aspiring novelists—which is why she feels comfortable sharing content about her cat. Is her cat directly related to fiction writing? Not exactly. BUT she made a fantastic point: most people who love books also love animals. Spend 10 minutes on “Bookstagram” (the affectionate term for the bookish side of Instagram), and you’ll see that the Venn diagram of cat lovers and book lovers is practically a circle.

I haven’t found my corner of the internet yet, but I know the kind of people I want to connect with: fellow neurodivergent girlies with big hearts, writers with day jobs trying to balance it all, and queer romance lovers dreaming of a sapphic romantasy featuring lesbians with swords.

Am I just describing myself? Absolutely. And that’s the point. It’s wild how, when we stop comparing ourselves to everyone else, we can finally get clear on who we are, who we want to connect with, and what kind of content will make that happen.

Lately, I’ve fallen into the internet comparison trap, constantly scrolling through other writers’ Instagram and TikTok content and feeling inadequate because my graphics aren’t as polished or my captions aren’t as profound. But then I have to remind myself: Are we writing the same kind of book? Are we even trying to reach the same audience? Sure, there might be some overlap in our target audiences, but we’re not the same, so our content shouldn’t be either, right?

I’ve noticed that at work, I get embarrassed mentioning that I’m writing a novel. In writing communities, I feel awkward admitting that I’m a software engineer. And in every circle, I shy away from sharing how hard it can be to function with a brain that doesn’t always cooperate. It’s like I’m living a Batman/Bruce Wayne double life, hiding parts of myself for no good reason. But why? I worked hard to become a software engineer, and I’m proud of that. I’m also proud of my writing, my resilience, and my commitment to creativity.

As a creator with a “neuro-spicy” brain, it’s hard to trust my instincts and put myself out there in ways that feel true to me. But I refuse to spend another year playing small and hiding in “safe” spaces. So here I am, showing up in all my messy glory.

Moving forward, I hope to use this space—and my Instagram—not only to share my writing journey but also to celebrate my life as a woman in tech, my experiences as a multi-passionate creator, and how I’m learning to work with my neurodivergent brain instead of against it.

Thank you so much for being along for this bumpy ride. It means more than I can ever put into words.

✨ Glimmers of Gratitude

1. I learned the term “multi-hyphenate creative” recently, and it really resonated with me.

2. My nephew just turned three and he is quite possibly the cutest kid I’ve ever met. I got him a ninja costume for his birthday and he put it on immediately. I want to channel that level of unabashed excitement and childlike glee in the coming year.

3. I had a very challenging ticket I’ve been working on for the past few weeks at work, and I FINALLY solved it! Sometimes I contemplate every decision that led to me working in development, but then I solve a code and remind myself it’s that feeling of satisfaction that keeps me going.

4. The color cerulean blue has really been scratching an itch in my brain recently in the best way.

5. Netflix Christmas movies! They are so cheesy and saccharinely sweet, and I love them. I’ve been watching one pretty much every night after work, and it’s been delightful.

🧠 Learning & Processing

Dedicating an entire section of my newsletter to my creative process and updates on The Alchemy has made writing it feel daunting. Going forward, this section will include not just my writing updates, but also random things I’ve learned, coding takeaways, and insights from my corporate life.

1. I’ve decided it’s time to look for a new job, so I’ll be coding a lot in my free time to prep for interviews. I’m even considering a bi-weekly column to explain coding concepts in layman’s terms—both to make coding feel more accessible and to deepen my own understanding. This week, I tackled Redux, a JavaScript library for organizing and storing data. It was a mystery for ages, but now that it clicks, my work feels so much easier.

2. Writing has taken a back seat these past few weeks, but tomorrow I have a sprint planned with a friend I met online. I’m hoping it gets me back into the habit of 100 words a day!

3. I listened to an NPR Life Kit episode about “wintering,” and it reframed my view of the season. It talked about adapting to the cold rather than dreading it, which really resonated. I’ve started taking walks even when it’s dark and cold (shoutout to my new hat that features a headlamp for making me feel safe when it gets dark at 4:30pm), and I’ve been enjoying more warm drinks—it’s been lovely! Highly recommend the episode.

   

📚🎧 Recommended Reading & Listening

How To Winter: Harnessing Your Mindset to Embrace All Seasons of Life by Kari Leibowitz

🎨 Weekly Mood Board

all via pinterest 📌

That’s all for now! Thank you so much for reading. Can’t wait to yap again next Thursday 💙

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Missed my last post? Check it out here! 👇🏻

Thoughts on the Lonely First Draft

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