Thoughts on How We Move Forward

And why my writing cannot be for everyone

✨ This post was originally published under The Thought Spiral. Same voice, new name. Welcome to Follow Through!

💭 Thursday Thoughts

Hello internet! I’m sorry it’s been a while, and thank you for your patience. I know these letters are expected on Thursdays, but I hope you don’t mind a little something this lovely Saturday instead :)

Last week, I was in New York City with my wife and our best friend, and since I’ve touched down back at home I’ve been searching through all of the folds of my being to find a message of hope to share in the wake of the election. I’m coming up empty. I’ve been spreading the message to others that they don’t have to force their way through their grief, but I don’t think I’ve given myself the same grace.

To be real with you, I’ve been having a tough time in the fallout from last week’s election. I find it both hard and far too easy to understand why seventy-six million people chose an under-qualified convicted felon over an overqualified woman with a history in politics and law enforcement for our country’s president.

I think a lot of people see me as a positive person, and generally, this is true. I consider myself to be an optimist—possibly even a bit delusional at times. But the problem with being an optimist is that sometimes I don’t feel positive. Sometimes, my hopes don’t come to fruition, and I’m left to handle the disappointment. Sometimes, I feel just as overcome with rage and fear and sadness as the rest of my peers, and I don’t know how to cope because looking for a positive spin when it feels like the world is on fire all around me is exhausting. I’m just trying to find a fire extinguisher, man.

The type of writing I’ve been working on isn’t for everyone. But it is for someone, and I feel that’s an important distinction. My goal in my writing is not to attack people. If you don’t resonate with what I create, I hope that can be okay. But for now at least, my writing is for those that have felt wronged by this election. For those that are hurt that a man was elected into a position of trust and power who has vocally and enthusiastically threatened our rights. For those that are not only sad but really pissed off.

My goal with everything I create is to remind women, queer people, people of color, immigrants and refugees, and differently abled people that they are not alone. That there is hope. That we have a community, and we will get through the next four years the same way we have gotten through every bit of adversity we’ve faced in the past: together.

As a recovering people pleaser, it is difficult for me to accept that not everyone will agree with the things I write. That I won’t make everyone happy. But in reality, seventy-six million people didn’t seem to care about my rights and my happiness when they casted their votes. So why do I need to take their feelings into account now? Why is it always the job of the marginalized to be the bigger person? Why can’t we just be angry?

To those that may feel alienated by this message, I’m sorry, but my art isn’t for you. But this will be my only apology.

For the rest, I hope you’re hanging in there. The most important form of resistance is a refusal to dim your light. And if that is too hard right now, know I have a light on for you. Please, do not let the darkness win.

Novel Writing Updates:

As I mentioned above, I took a break from writing over the past week to enjoy my time on vacation, but I’ve done a good amount of planning and plotting. This week, I put some of that plotting into use as I continued my deep dive into Blair.

Blair is the main character and protagonist of The Alchemy, but oddly enough I’ve had a hard time connecting with her on more than a superficial level. I’ve been working my way through Lisa Cron’s Story Genius to help get a better feel for Blair—who she is, where she’s been, and why she want to be a famous singer. And I think I’ve finally cracked her—or at least, I’m starting to.

In the past, I generally chose teenagers as my protagonists. Teenagers are so fun to write because they exist in this liminal space between childhood and adulthood. They have agency and angst in equal measure. I also feel like being a teenager comes with a handful of obstacles that are easy to connect and empathize with.

Blair is my first real stab at writing an adult protagonist—a young adult at approximately 27, but an adult nonetheless. It’s been interesting exploring her wants as well as what is holding her back. I’ve been running into a lot of issues with trying to create authentic problems for her that don’t feel extremely contrived and melodramatic. I feel like your twenties are sort of the best time for melodrama, though, so I’m working on finding a good sweet spot for her.

I’ve made some revelations about her backstory that are helping to solidify her misbeliefs, mostly prompted by exercises in Story Genius. I think Blair was severely neglected as a child and grew up in an impoverished area. She likely had to fend for herself more often than not, but I think she developed a special bond with a teacher at her school that helped her get through things. Sort of inspired by Matilda and Ms. Honey.

I’m excited to explore this idea further and how it plays into who Blair is now as an adult and how that relationship (and the loss of it) impacted her.

Goals for the coming week:

1. Wrap up The Advanced Class at The Novelry and begin the 90 Day Novel class

2. Reach 15k words (aiming for 25-30k by end of November)

3. Write a handful of backstory scenes for Blair

4. Work through chapters 7-9 of Story Genius by Lisa Cron

This Week’s Little Bits of Joy (New York Edition):

• Romeo + Juliet was INCREDIBLE! We were lucky to see Kit Connor and Rachel Zegler in the new rendition of the classic, and the soundscape created by Jack Antonoff really helped establish the vibe.

• Kenneth Lonergan’s Hold Onto Me Darling was so well written! A perfect balance of heartfelt moments and comedy. Adam Driver’s comedic timing was so flawlessly delivered, and the entire cast was so talented!

• New York Bagels. They really are so much better than bagels in the Midwest. My favorite ones from this trip were from Gramercy Bagels.

• The new Stonewall Visitor Center is such a special memorial of the lives lost during the invasion of Stonewall and for all of the queer lives we’ve lost over the years to systemic injustice.

• We went to so many beautiful independent bookstores during our trip. I think my favorite one was “The Ripped Bodice” in Cobble Hill.

• It was so cool to walk past publishing houses like Simon & Schuster and Penguin Random House and imagine what it would be like to be a published author at one of those amazing major publishers in New York. It’s been one of my biggest dreams since middle school, and I really hope I can make it a reality in the next few years.

• Pebble Beach in Brooklyn has one of the best views in all of New York in my personal opinion. On Friday we spent time absorbing the atmosphere of the city from the cement steps at Pebble Beach, and it was the perfect way to start our last day in the city.

  

memes of the week

That’s all for now! Thank you so much for reading. Can’t wait to yap again next Thursday 💙

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Missed my last post? Check it out here! 👇🏻

Thoughts on Being "Cringe"

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